Pickering Running Club

I could not be everywhere at once during the Bassenthwaite Triathlon, but I do know the following:

- I had a puncture before the event even started.

- someone kicked me in the face during the swim, removing my swimming goggles in the process. Thank you.

- I put on my running shoes in transition, then noted that they were not my running shoes but someone else's identical running shoes next to my running shoes (OK running shoes one size bigger and a bit grubbier but otherwise identical running shoes.) I then had to take off the identical running shoes and then put on my own running shoes leaving the identical running shoes for their legal owner. I trust that is clear.

- Steve arrived at the finishing line with a strange glazed expression on his face, ignored me completely and then ran onto the grass where he started to do strange things. I naturally assumed that he had taken an illegal substance but unfortunately his back had taken a significant turn for the worse during the run..

- Tess arrived looking rosy (see below) and complained that her run had been no good. She had run a hilly 10K in 48mins 29 secs, a time many would dream of, and this after a very choppy 1.5KM swim and a 42KM bike ride.

Daft old bat.

The results out of about 300:

Peter: 112th overall, 11th in category

Steve: 190th overall, 52nd in category

Tess: 235th overall, 16th in category

Fashion notes for Caroline:

- Although Tess did not have varnished fingernails, they had been expertly manicured. More significantly, it seemed to me that she had applied rouge actually during the competition, a remarkable attention to detail, emphasizing her elegant cheekbones and ensuring a most dignified finish.

- Steve had pink toenail varnish applied to just one foot in a clearly sloppy fashion. Unless this is a blokey thing I know nothing about, I fear he needs your advice and quickly.. 

- I opted for an extreme testosterone fuelled macho look wearing new sunglasses and with much blood running freely down my right shoulder and right thigh, following a bitter argument with a bush. Fellow competitors were cowed and completely intimidated. Or thought I was a clumsy prat.

cheers,

Peter